Where did she go?

Remember when...

when the last time you felt your self was? The last time you truly knew your genuine authentic self?

Probably hard to remember.

Maybe you don’t even know.

It’s sad isn’t it?

That the person staring you back in the mirror..... you have no idea who they’ve become!

How does this even happen?

How do you lose the best version of yourself?

I’ll give you a HINT

It’s called life...

Social media

False expectations

False reality

Limiting beliefs

Negativity....

Do I need to keep going on....

I think you get the drift...

On my journey I’ve thought long and hard about that question... countless times I’ve came up with different answers but finally I decided on two old versions of myself.

Girl #1 —The young girl in front of the church. Loud and proud. Hear me and see me! No one could spot me. Or shut me up! Just a 10 year old girl who didn’t have a care in the world I just wanted to be seen and heard. Full of life, creativity, passion, ahhh where did she go?

Girl #2 —The bitch at the bar. Talking all this smack to someone who turned out to be my boss. Who (he) later turned into Hitler. Who had knock down drag out fights with me. All because I was standing up for my self and embarrassing him at the same time because I had not a care in the world. Which all later ended in a friendship till this day. Weird, I know. But where did that confident vocal tipsy girl go? Where did she take a left turn and get lost on the journey?

I feel like when I started listening to the world... and not beating to my own drum... that’s when those two little girls got lost...

Everyone told me I was too loud or too much... and that’s what made me quiet... that’s what made me hide my feelings that’s what made me closed off to the world.

What if I never changed..... what if I never lost my voice. My burning passion to be heard loud and proud. Where would I be? Who would I be today?

I can’t answer those questions...

But I can say thank god for that little burning fiery feeling deep down in my soul that is a hang out place for hippies, activists, feminist, truth speakers, and all the things I stand for! Thank god for their desires to be my true raw authentic self. To never settle. To always be heard!

Thank god they never left me!

Thank god that fire never burned out!!

When your aware of who you really are, nothing is impossible!

You are unstoppable!

You deserve it all!

And you can have it!!

Happy 4th Weekend!! Be Safe!

xoxoxo

-Rachel